Leaving your baby

Leaving your baby

Since I’ve had Oliver I can count the number of times I’ve been out without him on one hand, well two fingers, because it’s only been twice.  Obviously not counting the odd time I have popped to the local shop for something.  This week I was invited to an evening event in London by a friend, and when I said I couldn’t make it she questioned why.  My reasons were obviously to do with Oliver;

  1. He won’t go to sleep unless I’m here.
  2. London is just a bit too far for me to go especially if something happened.
  3. He won’t take a bottle.

Point number 1 probably sounds ridiculous, but Oliver feeds to sleep most evenings (or feeds to a point where he will fall asleep any minute) when he wakes during the evening if Stu goes to help re-settle him he just screams.  As soon as I go in he stops crying, he knows what he wants! So if I was to go out it would be before bedtime and that would mean Stu would have to try and get him off to sleep, this would be stressful for both parties involved.

My second point is London is just a bit too far.  We live a half hour away from the local train station, then it’s another 40 minutes on the train to Waterloo and then however long it takes to get to the venue, if there was an emergency or Oliver was being a nightmare and Stu couldn’t cope then it wouldn’t be a quick journey home.

Finally, Oliver won’t take a bottle.  When he was little we did give him a few bottles of expressed milk which he took, but we often found it to be quite stressful giving him a bottle because it took so much longer to do!  I went out in our local town for dinner with some friends not long ago and left some milk for Oliver just in case he woke up, when he did wake up Stu offered the milk and Oliver hit the bottle out of his hands and refused to have any!

My only afternoon trip out without Oliver had to involve Gin!

When I told my friend that I couldn’t go because of Oliver she made me feel like I was crazy!  When I said I had only been apart from Oliver for an extended period of time twice (and these were only a couple of hours each) she couldn’t believe  it!  Is it really that weird?  Once I’m no longer breastfeeding and Oliver’s a bit more settled I would happily go out for an evening, but he’s only 8 months old!  He is changing so much at the moment, if I left him I feel like I could be missing out.

How old were your children when you first left them?

3 Little Buttons
Cuddle Fairy
Dear Bear and Beany
The Pramshed
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  1. tendingtobaby
    October 25, 2016 / 1:36 am

    My son is now 20 months and I always put him to bed. I think I haven’t done so maybe 5 times. It’s not that my husband can’t at this point but it’s our special time. On the rare occasion that I do go out I just tell people it has to be after 7pm. Even when he was little I just wanted to be there if he was upset. It made me extremely anxious to think he was upset and i wasn’t there to comfort him because there was a while there when nothing soothed him but the boob!

  2. October 25, 2016 / 3:51 pm

    I don’t think it’s weird! My son is now 11 months and I also have only been apart from him for more than 2 hours for a handful of times, and I still feed him to sleep or at least just before bedtime every night. He does take a bottle if I’m not there but honestly I feel like I didn’t have a baby so I could leave him all the time!! The way I see it we are a bit of a package deal other than the odd special occasion. I think the longest I’ve left him is only 4 hours and that was with his dad! He’s spent a few hours with my parents too, only twice though. Everyone feels differently about it but I think it’s nice if you don’t want to leave him when he’s so little!! #DreamTeam

  3. October 27, 2016 / 8:42 am

    Definitely not weird! My son is 9 months and I have left him 3 times. Twice me and my husband went for a meal out and we were only gone an hour and a half both times and my son screamed the whole time according to his grandma. The third time I went to see a friend and after an hour I missed him so much I went home. That was a few months ago. My son just isn’t ready for me to leave him yet, not even with his daddy. All my friends go out and leave their babies with family because they say “baby has to get used it” but I think it’s such a short period of time that they are so young and need you that I don’t want to miss a second unless I really have too. It’s natural to be with your baby all the time, and it’s sad that anyone would think that is strange.

  4. October 28, 2016 / 3:10 am

    My son was only 10 weeks when I first left him with my mother in law but he was introduced to a bottle of EBM from birth and I knew (hoped) he would only wake once for a dreamfeed. I was really nervous as we went 40 minutes drive away for a party and I kept wanting to go home but my husband made me stay until the time we said we would. I didn’t enjoy myself at all. I would be happy to leave him at home with my husband now if I wanted but the truth is I would prefer to be at home with him #sharingthebloglove

  5. October 29, 2016 / 6:33 pm

    My eldest was a few months old when we headed to London. She stayed with my parents. You’ve made me wonder whether this friend of yours has children of their own or not. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • mummymiller
      October 29, 2016 / 7:12 pm

      Yep she has one and has another on the way!!

  6. October 29, 2016 / 8:42 pm

    I don’t think it’s crazy. Amelia is 18 months old and I hate being away from her! I will only let her stay with my mum and I can count on one hand the overnights. Now with Max I’ve only been one night without him and I hated it, I just wanted my babies back. Que end of date nights! 1 down, none to go! #DreamTeam

  7. October 30, 2016 / 9:18 pm

    I don’t’ think it’s strange, and I wouldn’t worry about it at all. We are all different and have different levels of what we will or will not tolerate. When my little one was small, I would always make sure that plans didn’t’ interrupt certain routines. I would never have been able to enjoy a night out knowing that she was unhappy. Thanks for linking up to the #DreamTeam x

  8. October 31, 2016 / 2:16 pm

    I don’t think that’s odd at all! I think before Max was 1 I only ever left him once, at our own house with my parents babysitting for a few hours while we had a meal out, and after I’d put him down to bed. I just didn’t feel ready to leave him for any length of time until he was much older. But he’s 2.5 now and it’s lovely occasionally to have a night off – and he absolutely loves staying round at my mum and dad’s (when he was little I thought I might have to be feeding him to sleep until he was 5!!) I think whenever you feel ready is the right time, and I don’t think you should feel pressured into leaving him before that, just because other people think it’s normal. Thanks for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

  9. November 1, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    You are definitely not odd! I didn’t leave my girls until they were at least a year old and then when I did they were already sleep. Even now at 4 and 2 I generally only leave them once they are in bed. They are only little for a sort period and I don’t think there is a right or wrong time to leave your child. Its what is best for you and them. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

    • mummymiller
      November 1, 2016 / 9:39 pm

      Thanks for reading, I don’t think I’m going to be leaving him until he’s at least 1!

  10. November 2, 2016 / 8:04 pm

    I think I started letting my now 21 month old first ‘be apart’ from me at about 8 months old. She started going to her grandparents house on a Saturday afternoon which she still does. It was tough for me to deal with but to be honest I think it is me that was more bothered about the separation than her. If anything, I think I pushed my ‘she need’s to be with me’ feeling onto her and that caused separation issues which she is only just now overcome. With baby #2 on the way, I see more than ever that it is extremely good and healthy for all parties to be able to feel comfortable leaving your child. That being said, it’s such a hard thing to do. It’s being a mother I guess. You will be more comfortable when you feel you are ready. #fortheloveofblog

  11. November 8, 2016 / 2:22 pm

    I’m having a little stalk of your blog ? We have a lot in common! I haven’t left my daughter (7 months) for longer than a few hours either. She also will only go to sleep for me and won’t take a bottle. Plus I’m just not that bothered. There is nowhere I’d rather be right now that with her!

    • mummymiller
      November 8, 2016 / 2:23 pm

      Haha feel free to stalk away ? my son will only sleep if I’m lying next to him!

      • November 8, 2016 / 2:30 pm

        Yep, I can relate! My daughter sleeps in the carrier for day naps and we bed share at night.

  12. The Pramshed
    November 8, 2016 / 2:28 pm

    There is nothing weird about this at all. I didn’t leave our daughter under she was 10 months old, when we were confident that she would sleep through the night. We had to go all the way to Spain for a night out so my parent’s could look after her. There is no way that I could have left her before that, she wouldn’t take a bottle and often would wake every 2 hours (or less) at night for a feed. Don’t worry about it, it won’t be this was forever, 8 months is still really young and they grow up so quickly from now. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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