Learning to love my post-baby body

Almost a year on from having my baby and I am finally coming to terms with what having a baby has done to my body.  Gone are the days of a nice flat stomach and a good pert pair of boobs.  The only thing that I’m pleased with on my body since having Oliver is that I have lost all of my baby weight and more.  I put it wholly down to breastfeeding and not eating enough healthy calories in the day though!  Once I stop breastfeeding, I’m pretty sure my weight will creep back up!

The other day I was just getting in the shower and I stood looking at myself in the mirror.  All I could look at were my boobs.  Whenever I hear anyone speak about breastfeeding, they speak about how you get this great set of boobs.  You will never hear me saying that.  Sometimes I want to cry when I look at mine.  Oliver will only feed from one side as he refused to feed from the other.   This has left me with boobs that look like they’ve come from two different people.  One is a nice, pert, normal sized boob.  It looks just like it did before I got pregnant.  The other is big, it reaches a fair bit lower and quite frankly looks ridiculous in comparison.

A few months ago I went to have my boobs measured.  The shop assistant who was fitting me straight away said to me ‘oh have you just fed off of that (smaller) side?’  When I replied saying no, he only feeds from this (bigger) side she was quite embarrassed and apologised straight away.  I brushed it off, but it left me feeling even more self conscious than I already did.  I know that it’s noticeable in close fitting clothing.  My bra is practically empty on one side.  When I stop breastfeeding I know that my boob will reduce in size, but I also know what I will be left with.  A saggier version of what I already have!

But what I also see when I look in the mirror is a single boob that has sustained the life of my son for a whole year.  For the first 6 months he solely relied on this boob to nurture him, to help him grow, to keep him alive.  It comforted him, it fed him, it did the job it was intended for.  I have learnt that getting upset with my appearance is pointless.  Nothing is going to change.  Finally I decided that rather than being embarrassed by my lopsided boobs I should embrace them.   They’re part of me, part of my body, part of my parenting journey.  Quite frankly, the only people who will ever see them are my family, and they don’t care about what they look like!

What I’m secretly hoping is that if I am lucky enough to have another breastfeeding journey that the next baby opts for the other side.  Just to even things up, but knowing my luck they will have the same preference!  But for now I have realised that even though I have two different looking boobs, it doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that me and my baby are both healthy and we are happy.  Being a mum has changed my whole life for the better, a change to my body is insignificant in comparison.  So I have embraced the change, I have learnt to love my new post-baby boobs.

Pink Pear Bear

 

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12 Comments

  1. January 30, 2017 / 12:05 pm

    I’ve breastfeed two babies and my boobies look quite sad. But I’m coming to terms with my pan fried eggs. Like you said, after all we have sustained life for a whole year!! #bigpinklink

    • January 31, 2017 / 9:11 pm

      Such a great description, but I have a feeling what I will be left with! Thanks for reading xx

  2. January 30, 2017 / 4:34 pm

    Great post. I’m starting to come to terms with my post-baby body too. Like you I’ve lost the weight, probably because of breastfeeding, but I don’t feel ‘the same’. But you are right, my body has kept him alive, which is amazing. Thanks for such a positive way of looking at it.

    • January 31, 2017 / 9:12 pm

      I think it’s the only way to deal with such a big change. We just have to be grateful for being able to carry and feed our own babies! Thanks for reading xx

    • February 3, 2017 / 3:29 pm

      We have to celebrate how amazing our bodies are, we made and carried another human and then managed to nurture them as well! Thanks for reading x

  3. February 3, 2017 / 7:28 am

    Bless you, it’s so hard to see how our bodies change during and post pregnancy. Well done on looking at the positive side of everything. I personally had a double mastectomy prior to having kids (preventative, same faulty gene as Angeline Jolie + a cancer scare). It’s amazing what our bodies can do! #SharingtheBlogLove

    • February 3, 2017 / 3:25 pm

      Thank you for reading. I would have done the same thing if I was in your situation, such a brave decision. Our bodies are pretty amazing! X

  4. February 6, 2017 / 5:12 pm

    I do think pregnancy and motherhood changes your attitude to your body. I know for me I have always been very self conscious about my tummy – my weight has fluctuated through my adult life, but even when I was a ‘too skinny for my frame’ size 8 and doing loads of exercise, I still had a little pot belly. Obviously pregnancy didn’t do it any favours given the state of it in the first place and I’m definitely not looking my best these days! But like you, I can look at it and realise that it’s come from bringing my son into the world, and that’s an amazing thing that massively overwhelms any negativity I associate with it. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  5. February 6, 2017 / 9:45 pm

    My body is so different after having my girls. My breasts are never going to be the same after breastfeeding. they are like two cushions with no filling! But I’ve accepted this and I am ok about it. They fed my girls and I will always be proud of that. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  6. February 10, 2017 / 2:15 pm

    It can be hard to accept the changes sometimes, and some people never do. It’s important to remember your body has done the most incredible thing in the world and whatever it looks like you should be proud of that fact (easier said than done some days!) x
    #SharingtheBlogLove

  7. February 11, 2017 / 8:29 pm

    Don’t worry about it too much! My first only fed from my right for the whole 18 months and my second tried to do the same but I managed to fight him into having the left too. It came down to the fact that my right side has a quicker letdown and is faster but my left is quite slow so they don’t/didn’t like to wait for their food lol I’m still breastfeeding my second at 16 months. Honestly I wouldn’t worry about it, I used to all the time and used to pack my non feeding boob with whatever I could find to bulk the bra up a bit so I didn’t feel as self conscious. Good luck! #sharingthebloglove

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